if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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