Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
