3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize