and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
