i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
