Sry I called you an 8
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
