I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
