She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
