The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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