you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
