Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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