these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
