either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
