There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
