Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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