What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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