opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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