So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
