He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
