THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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