thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
