its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
