Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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