do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
