sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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