I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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