Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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