i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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