She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's blow job season.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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