he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
