idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
