Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
