escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
