I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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