Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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