The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
