wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
