how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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