Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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