Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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