Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My bed smells like the plague
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
