We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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