Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
