I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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