and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
