I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
