Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
