I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
