If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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