Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
