Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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