No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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